Every morning this week when I wake up, the first thoughts that go through my head are: do I feel like I am going to throw up, does my body ache anywhere, do I have metal mouth, and do I have enough energy to get out of bed? And I am happy to say that the answer is no to all of them except the last one. Don't get me wrong, I am not 100%, but compared to last time, I am 100%. I am so thankful that I am feeling this way. I again give God all the credit, He is walking with me and helping me when I need Him the most. I know I am not out of the woods yet, over the weekend is when I should be at my worst, but I still don't think it will be anywhere near last time's worst. Thank you so much for all of your prayers.
Bridgette
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
The game plan!!!
Well the last week has been a great one, I am back to 100% and have had a great week. This weekend I was able to go to Julieanna's recital and enjoy a BBQ at the Sharps house and today has been a nice relaxing day enjoying celebrating the best dad ever. Gregg is an amazing man and the best dad a kid could ask for! This weekend has definitely helped give me a little bit of steam to get me through my next treatment.
So the plan is to start me on an IV only chemo. Which means instead of going in on day 1, day 2, and day 8 I will only go in on day 1. Which in my mind is amazing because then the side effects will only hit me once instead of twice. And the type of chemo is supposed to have less side effects. So I am pretty happy with the new game plan and I am just gonna take it one treatment at a time. I have committed to doing 3 treatments, so If I tolerate this new drug well then I will do another treatment, but if not then I will be done. My prayer for this next treatment is that I am able to manage my side effects better. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. I love you all!!!
Bridgette
Psalms 30:2 " O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me."
So the plan is to start me on an IV only chemo. Which means instead of going in on day 1, day 2, and day 8 I will only go in on day 1. Which in my mind is amazing because then the side effects will only hit me once instead of twice. And the type of chemo is supposed to have less side effects. So I am pretty happy with the new game plan and I am just gonna take it one treatment at a time. I have committed to doing 3 treatments, so If I tolerate this new drug well then I will do another treatment, but if not then I will be done. My prayer for this next treatment is that I am able to manage my side effects better. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. I love you all!!!
Bridgette
Psalms 30:2 " O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me."
Saturday, June 11, 2011
What have I got myself into!
When someone tells you something is going to be hard and suck, listen to them...they really mean it. Normally when someone tells me that, I think yeah, but for me, I can handle it, I am strong. Things are not hard for me, even when they are, I can turn it into something positive or be optimistic about it, but and this is a big but, there is nothing optimistic or positive about CHEMO, never ever ever will I say something positive about the chemo process, I just can't because it difficult. And I almost feel like for anyone else who has gone through this I am putting them down by saying something positive about the Chemo process. IT SUCKS 110%. After the first cycle, I thought to myself, I can do this, I just need to manage my pain and mental craziness and I would be good. The physical side effects were very minimal and this time it would be easier because I know what to expect.
Well, cycle 2 kicked my butt, wait I mean is still kicking my butt. I am still nowhere near 100%, but I am at least able to sit and have a conversation without feeling nauseated or have heartburn. Lets be real here, I am in a state of confusion and questioning. The confusion comes from why I am even doing this in the first place and the questioning is do I want to continue to do this. This process has brought me to a place I do not like. A place that makes me feel like I want to throw in the towel. I never throw in the towel, I never speak of throwing in the towel. But that is all I can think about, if I give up, it will be over. And oh how I want this to be over.
I know that it will soon be over and I am going to talk to my doctor about making adjustments to my chemo plan to hopefully make this process easier. The positives that I can talk about are my amazing family and friends who have been praying and loving me through this. Everyone of you who have said one single prayer for me and my family, brought a meal, and taken care of me, you are what is making it at all possible to make it to this point. If I did not have God on my side and my amazing support system, I would have probably already thrown in the towel. Thank you everyone for your support, please keep those prayers coming because I need them, especially as I talk to the doctors this week and begin to prepare for my next treatment. I am trying to look at the bigger picture and I know that God is walking with me.
Love you all,
Bridgette
Well, cycle 2 kicked my butt, wait I mean is still kicking my butt. I am still nowhere near 100%, but I am at least able to sit and have a conversation without feeling nauseated or have heartburn. Lets be real here, I am in a state of confusion and questioning. The confusion comes from why I am even doing this in the first place and the questioning is do I want to continue to do this. This process has brought me to a place I do not like. A place that makes me feel like I want to throw in the towel. I never throw in the towel, I never speak of throwing in the towel. But that is all I can think about, if I give up, it will be over. And oh how I want this to be over.
I know that it will soon be over and I am going to talk to my doctor about making adjustments to my chemo plan to hopefully make this process easier. The positives that I can talk about are my amazing family and friends who have been praying and loving me through this. Everyone of you who have said one single prayer for me and my family, brought a meal, and taken care of me, you are what is making it at all possible to make it to this point. If I did not have God on my side and my amazing support system, I would have probably already thrown in the towel. Thank you everyone for your support, please keep those prayers coming because I need them, especially as I talk to the doctors this week and begin to prepare for my next treatment. I am trying to look at the bigger picture and I know that God is walking with me.
Love you all,
Bridgette
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