Quick Update!

Hello everyone, just wanted to give everyone a quick update on evereything that has gone on since my last post. I ended up doing treatment, which I am glad I did. When I went to the doctors he put chemo in a whole new light. Which was exactly what I was praying for. So I went in tuesday the 12th and was hoping that I would respond the same way I did to the last cycle. Well we are now a little over a week after treatment, and I am still not 100%. I had to go in last friday cause I was not well at all. They gave me iv drugs, which are much better then pills and some fluids cause I was dehiderated. All around this time has been more difficult then I imagined. With that said I am questioning a lot. My prayer is that until my next doctors appointment I truly seek him and continue to follow the plan that he has for me. In other words, if anyone sees an airplane with a banner that says Bridgette this is what you should do, please call me. Chemo brain is definetly affecting me this time. Please pray for guidance and wisdom.
Love you all

James 1:2-5

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

Goodbye Chemo Brain!!

I am so happy that I changed my chemo plan. Not only has it been better physically, it has also been so much better mentally. I have had very minimal physical side affects, which has allowed me to do fun things with my family. We have gone to the beach, Gilroy Gardens, and the Giants game. Things that if I had stayed on the original plan I would not have been able to do. And mentally this might sound weird, but I got my brain back. It is very hard to communicate what chemo brain is unless you have experienced it. Over the weekend, I had the opposite of a brain fart. I had a brain burst, I was back to my normal ways of thinking, which had all of my OCD tendencies and I immediately wanted to start evaluating what has been going on for the last few months. I thought about the beginning and when they said we would just monitor you, it would probably just be a surgically treatable cancer to a week later saying no, you need to do chemo. I believe that God has been there with me the whole time helping me decide what direction to go and who to listen to. This weekend, I have been really thinking about how much more of this season I need to go through. I am questioning whether the side effects are worth going through and possibly be permanent when there is no guarantee that chemo is going to prevent my cancer from coming back. When Dr. Skilling performed the surgery he got everything and chemo for me was peace of mind that any microscopic thing left behind would be removed. So I am feeling pretty confident that I have gotten my peace of mind. Obviously I want to talk to the doctors before I make a decision, but I do know that God has brought me to this point and I just want to listen to His voice and have faith that He has healed me. I am ready to start a new season and want to be used to help others that are going through the same seasons I have. I feel God was speaking to me this weekend at church when pastor made this statement.

"God intends to bless the world with hope and kingdom life but to do that he uses people, people who receive the blessing of participating not only because of their own experience with suffering but also because of their willingness to suffer even more for the sake of bringing this blessing into being."
- Jon Tacoma

So the question is how much more suffering does God want me to experience in order to be the blessing that He has called me to be? This song has also been something that has spoken to me too. My cousin sang it in church and my Aunt Sharon played it for me awhile ago, but I heard it recently on the radio and it was so what I needed to hear. Thanks again for everyone's encouraging words and prayers.

Love you all,
Bridgette